lordandrei: (Default)

Originally published at Lord Andrei's Blog. Please leave any comments there.

The office has a nice tranquil room to let the drugs take over. At this point I am vaguely relaxed and laid back. The room has a lounge with a nice tribal-like blanket, an air purifier, several mood candles and a machine playing ocean sounds. For my last procedure while I was here they gave [...]

lordandrei: (Bunny Thwump)
RFC means request for comments...

I am really not a superstitious person. I do practice some superstitions but it is for my own entertainment. In otherwords... I do them because they amuse me... Not because they control me and I am afraid I need to. Sure... I will not say the name of the evil Scottish play or throw salt over my shoulder. But I do it for fun.

But there is one growing superstition that has me quite horribly locked into inaction. I need to return to a dentist. Very muchly. However, every time I go to a dentist something amazingly horrible happens.

I've been laid off of a job while in the dentist chair. I've been bilked of over $7K by a dentist. I've had a dentist remove teeth that weren't supposed to be removed and bridgework blown off.

I've had an orthodontist ... no.. you really don't want to know that one.

Fact is.. I have rational dental-phobia. And yes.. I'm certain everyone here can suggest dentists in and around my area who are... "Really great." What I need to do is find a way to let go of this experiential mindset that disaster will occur if I go to get my mouth taken care of.

This is horribly frustrating and bothersome to have something like this have control over me.

lordandrei: (Default)
So, little warning but here it is... I will be leaving for L.A. at 6am. I will be in town from 8:30 am to 9:30 pm. (At 2:30 I get to have minor oral surgury).

So, if anyone is free, feel free to either email me, IM me, or give my cell a call or text message. For those who don't know my cell... (There's probably a reason ;) you can always text message me from my profile.

Hope to see anyone ;)

Off to the airport.
lordandrei: (Default)
I am fairly easily distracted. Such is ADD that many adults in my age group now seem to suffer from as easily as clogged sinuses.

I sit here at 12:15 am waiting for my pain killers to kick in... 3 root canals in one day. Even my dentist thought I was mad. And that was trying to find his way through what apparently was complex nerves.

So, one of my duties this week has been to repair an iBook that I personally managed to munge. In a stellar act of bravado, I clobbered the iBook by installing the new version of Mac OS, Tiger.

I tried a few repair methods in Seattle and now have the sick 'pooter here at my home office. My next planned attempt was to install a bare-bones OS onto one of my firewire drives to have a running scratch space from which to run some disk utils. So I found my old 10 Gig FW drive. I got this drive while I was in San Diego.

Opening the drive to peruse it, I found an encrypted 500 MB partition. Amazingly, I not only had the software to open it, but remembered the password. Oh, the treasures I found there. Not the least of which was a journal that dated to BEFORE my live journal days... BEFORE my California days. Matter of fact, one of my favourite entries right at the beginning reads:

5/9/98 9:21 AM (Pacific)
Okay…more reasons for the Journal. I’m taking this OTO thing that I’ve done fairly seriously. I’m not sure if this is good or bad. So hopefully, I’ll now be able to analyze that through punching it out in written (typed) form.

To put this in perspective, this entry occurred 20 days after my 1° which was also 55 days after my Minerval. That's right, less that 60 days in from joining the order and I'm talking about, "... this OTO thing..." and whether or not taking it fairly seriously, "...is good or bad." heh.

Later in the post I go on to say:
Do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the Law. Eleven simple words that I’d already made a part of my life before I even met ΘΗΛΕΜΑ,

I marvel at my ignorance at noticing the phrase had eleven words and how little the number eleven meant to me then.

But I look at the journal then as I look at the one I have now.

Large canyons of space between entries. References to things I need to go back and fill in. Formulations of big ideas that trail off quickly. *sigh* Times that I think it'd be nice to start typing and not stop until I was done. Wishings that I could go back and find every, "I'll get back to this" and make a list so I could get back to them.

And most importantly, the discipline to keep up the progress. Not merely to post publicly, but to post my feelings without prodding the audience for a response. To post my private thoughts to me more often and consistently. And to finish what I start.

I view myself as a work in progress. Some things I have improved noticeably on in short amounts of time. Some things have changed in a more subtle way over much longer period of time. Some things haven't progressed anywhere nearly as much as I've wanted to. Some things have barely moved at all.

I am in a transition into a new phase of my life. Maybe this will be another thing that really begins to improve.

As the famous, "They" often say... today is the first day of the rest of your life.
lordandrei: (Default)
Last week while I was in Seattle I had a tooth break. Those who've seen me lately may have noticed I've been quieter or at least not opening my mouth as much.

About 2 years ago I decided to begin what would be very lengthy and expensive work on fixing damage from orthodontia and the resultant 20 years of hygene that while present never seemed to help.

My initial orthodontist wasn't the greatest guy in the world and the 2.5 year torture left my teeth straightened but in very bad condition. Over the ensuing 20 years, I have done much with trying to keep my hygene up, but a sever dental anxiety and the fact that brushing 2-3 times doesn't help... has made the process difficult.

So, 2 years ago I went thru the evaluation. Without insurance it'd be about $18K to fix my mouth. Before the process was to begin I had to go in for what is known as a deep cleaning. This was a two visit process where they numb your mouth and.... well to spare you... deep clean the teeth.

I worked up the energy to commit to the process. How horrible could it be. The pain will be numbed. During my 2nd deep cleaning the call came. Even posted about it the next day.

Needless to say, with my insurance change and everything else. People really understand how uncomfortable I can get with going to the dentist. Well, it's two years later. All I'll say is that WITHOUT insurance, I'm now up to about $22K in dental work. Thank the gods for insurance. Also, due to the amount of work I am getting, I seem to be getting frequent flier discounts.

Yesterday, I went in for deep cleaning again. This will again be 2 part. Fortunately, I really can't get laid off this time. As soon as I post this I am off again today for not 1, not 2, but 3 root canals. Wheee.

People won't probably notice much change in my smile for several months... But at least I am doing something constructive about it.

Wish me luck.

January 2014

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